fading*away ; fading*away ; fading*away ;
Friday, April 22, 2005
sick and tired of this life
sick and tired of giving and giving
yet they don`t appreciate
sick and tired of people always thinking otherwise
sick and tired of being alive
sick and tired of having to worry about tommorrow
sick and tired of living in fear
sick and tired of getting rejected
sick and tired of having to give
yet don`t get any returns
sick and tired of helping people
when they don`t even want to help themselves
sick and tired of people putting me down
when they are not perfect either
sick and tired of people who are so full of themseleves
when they are not the only ones on this earth.
sick and tired of people telling me what is right and what is wrong
when nothing in this world is right
sick and tired of having to do what is best for me
when actually that is not what i want
sick and tired of pleasing people
when ultimately i am not accountable to them
sick and tired of having to put on a mask everyday
when i am just so sick and tired already
sick and tired of people
sick and tired of this world
sick and tired of living this life
sick and tired of being me
4:16 PM
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
sitting by my bedside,
looking at the candles burning,
i see myself in it.
i see what i am made out of.
God,my candle maker
made me out of just plain wax.
he moulded me,
and shaped me to be what i am today.
each candle is made with so much love and care.
each candle is unique in its own way,
each candle will burn brightly for tomorrow,
each candle is precious to the candle maker.
wonderfully and perfectly made is the candle.
ready to be used to its greatest potential.
burning strongly to bring light into the darkness
overcoming and burning every wax in its way.
after every battle fought,
the candle is tired and weak
and he rests in his maker's arms
slowly but surely becoming ever stronger than ever before.
and soon again the candle is ready for his next battle,
fighting strongly and shinning brightly for the world to see.
the fire in him never extinguishes
until his work here is done.
sitting by my bedside,
thinking to myself,
i see myself shinning for God,
i see myself battling for God.
8:27 PM
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
everytime i open my diary
i say i want to pour everything out.
but everytime i hold my pen
i find myself bottling up every single thing.everytime i tell myself
go tell someone about how you're feeling
but whenever i get the opportunity
i hold them back thinking about how they will see me.everytime i need to cry out the hurts and pains in my life
i numb myself so that people won`t see me.
everytime i wanna let God come in and help me
i feel that i am not worth His help.
everytime this happens,
i feel my life fall apart.
everytime this happens,
i feel rejected.
everytime this happens,
i feel lost.
everytime this happens,
i need to hold on to someone tight,
but at the end of it all i still let go
and everything just starts all over again.
9:28 PM
